Almost as bad as Wichita

Even though I've only posted, like, twice this month, I don't consider myself a lazy blogger. You know what lazy bloggers do? They just post Onion stories and add a pithy comment, and I'm better than that.

Most of the time. But sometimes you click an Onion link from, then a story from the archives happens to randomly pop up on the sidebar, and you just have to post that story because it's satire, but it's so totally not satire at all.

I give you: Rural Nebraskan Not Sure He Can Handle Frantic Pace of Omaha (1/17/01)

"Don't get Fred started on Omaha," friend Ken Carlson said. "He's always resented Amy for going there. They're a lot less close now than they used to be, and Fred feels it's because she's gotten a bit of an attitude since moving to the big city, like she's superior or something."

"Let's just say the glamour of city life has changed [Amy]," Linder said. "She's definitely 'gone Omaha,' if you catch my drift."

Linder has visited the Nebraska metropolis three times in his life, most recently in 1996 for a farm-equipment show.

"I prepared plenty well before that trip, you better believe," Linder said. "I bought a money belt and travelers' checks to protect myself from all those Omaha pickpockets and con men. And I made sure I had a full tank of gas before going, because I sure as heck wasn't about to pay Omaha prices for gas."

Linder said he has no plans to visit his sister in Omaha anytime soon.

1 comment:

Kymm said...

That's great! I love it. I started a blog. Check it out or don't. I'm too tired to care at this point.