I feel the need - the need for tweed
I don't know whether it's the quickly-expanding signs of my impending fatherhood or the sliver of hope that I'll fool some department into letting me dress like a professor there, but lately I've been wanting to dress more like a J.Crew catalog model and less like a grad student who wears a lot of sneakers and Goodwill shirts. Awesome Goodwill shirts because I know what I'm doing in a thrift store, but thrift-store shirts nonetheless.
Don't get me wrong, though - I'm still totally hipper than you. The asymmetric full-button cardigan that M.Bro gave me (from Context) for my 28th last week would make the J.Crew buyer wrinkle his snooty blue-blooded nose with derision. But I want to go to the mall right now and buy a pair of slim-fit washed chinos in tan, light tan, dark tan, dusty tan, navy, and olive, and just alternate those with jeans every other day. And doesn't every guy secretly want to wear a thin diagonally-striped ivy-league tie under a herringbone vest? And the fact that I would eat nothing but toast for two weeks to buy these shoes should tell you that I'm willing to sacrifice to look good - not that I want to be a Kennedy cousin.
If it's J.Crew today, what's next? Brooks Brothers? Paul Stuart? Good god, where does it end? If ever mention "bespoke trousers" to you, you hereby have my permission to immediately walk away.