PSA: Infestation

A growing threat -
Have you recently found yourself asking any of the following questions?

—Whose fixed-gear bicycle is that in my garage?

—Where do I keep misplacing the charger for my iPod Nano?

—Why are there vast amounts of food mysteriously not missing from my pantry and refrigerator each week?

Yes? Then, chances are, you’ve got hipsters.

Hipster infestations have become commonplace in modern times. One day, life seems completely normal. The next, you’ve got an anorexic in a train-conductor hat scurrying across your kitchen in the middle of dinner. This, understandably, can be a pretty disconcerting sight.

Not to worry, though. While hipsters can really slaughter a nice mood, they are otherwise harmless and probably just as frightened of you as you are of them. Still, they are a nuisance, of course, and need to be treated as such. Following are suggested measures to pinpoint the location of hipsters in your home, coax them out from their hiding places, and capture and return them to their natural habitats.

5 comments:

J.Po said...

After your last post, this one is so damn pleasant! GOOD JOB!

towwas said...

Yes, thank you for not including a horrible picture in this post.

K. Bro said...

Is that from the book I gave you for christmas?

J.Bro said...

Goodness no, little sister! The Hipster Handbook celebrates hipsters - it certainly does not help one ride oneself of them! Mercy!

Burrito Eater said...

I've found a great way to get rid of hipsters...Offer them free sausage, but to get said sausage they were able to pedal a fixed gear bicycle through a University owned arboretum and through specially made paths only for bicycle use. Then shower said hipster with gifts. Then lose track of him as if he was never there in the first place.