No nookie tonight, my elf needs a helmet!

I try to avoid one-link posts where I don't add anything because I owe you more than that, but this is horribly, horribly depressing. World of Warcraft is an addiction - and not in a funny, ha-ha-oh-I'm-just-addicted-to-these-caramel-macchiatos sort of way. In the, an-intervention-wouldn't-be-out-of-place sort of way. I don't understand all the game-related lingo, but the meaning of it is pretty clear - this dude (and the dozens of enablers that tell him his girlfriend needs to just chill out) spends so much time on a video game that his real-life personal relationships are being threatened.
I'm in my first serious relationship, teach full time at the high school level, and consider myself a high level raider in World of Warcraft (high level meaning 5 raid nights a week, and two off nights, each night being 4+ hours of raiding in addition to any necessary time spent doing other things to prepare for raids). I value my job, my relationship, and I take playing WoW very seriously and am struggling to find a balance between the three. My girlfriend is very level headed and we talk through a lot of things, but she just cannot come to any reason as to why she should have to compete with my attention with something like WoW. I feel like there has to be a balance that can be struck and that we just have not found it yet, but I have absolutely no one that I know that a) raids WoW at a high level, b) has a successful relationship, and c) has a full time job.

7 comments:

towwas said...

Wow - that discussion thread is fascinating. Most of the people (as far as I've read anyway) do have the good sense to be like, dude, you're talking about choosing a relationship with a bunch of 12-year-olds you've never met over a REAL LIVE WOMAN.

Anonymous said...

I know a couple people just like that. The relationship suffers. One is on a different schedule than their partner thus resulting in 5 free hours a night. The other quit their game for a while but just went back to it.

Funny how the option is never to let their game suffer.

But my advice is they need to do what they want to do. Good thing I am stopping my cycling addiction.

grrrbear said...

I agree with TOWWAS - that thread is really interesting.

The guy, however, is completely uninteresting. Or, as one poster put it succinctly: "the most boring person alive".

Sophist said...

"Wow she doesn't understand your hobby, that's hosed up. You should probably dump her."

If you read further down there is all this angry discourse about whether or not people addicted to WoW are losers, and whether or not playing WoW is a worthwhile hobby. A very belligerent WoW player asserts that his grandchildren will be impressed to know that their grandfather was a serious raider in what will then be known as a legendary, ancient game, and he claims that other hobbies such as "whittling wood" are just as useless....

towwas said...

Yes, and did you see the commenter who called it "widdling" wood? Snicker.

Mister Vertigo said...

Well, since I've played more than my fair share of online games before, I suppose I should chime in on this discussion.

First off, gaming is a hobby, just like any other hobby. Sure, it's addicting, but anything you enjoy can be considered addicting. I happen to think it’s important in a relationship for each to have their own hobbies and personal time.

Now, with that being said, here is where video games are different (and damaging). Video games demand UNDIVIDED attention, especially something like a raid in WoW. This is where people get in trouble. He says that he raids for 5 hours a night. That's at least 5 hours of complete isolation in front of his computer. His girlfriend could be Jessica Alba and she could walk into the room naked and he'd never notice.

By comparison, let’s say you have a hobby like scrapbooking. If your significant other walks into the room, you can stop what you are doing, have a conversation, go out to dinner, watch TV, etc. and then come back to it at a later time. You are the only one with the demand on your time.

When you are a hardcore raider like this guy, you have a large group of other people depending on you to be there to lead the group. They demand your undivided attention. In the middle of a raid, you can’t be having a conversation with the girlfriend about her day at work. I think this is where the problems come about. Some of that undivided attention should be directed at the significant other!

Playing online games is fun. For someone who never has it’s impossible to explain. However, it is just something that needs to be done in moderation, just like anything else. If you value your relationships, it is something that you have to be able to put down when you need to. This is why I don’t play online games much anymore. I’m more of a single player video game guy now. That way I can pause or shut the game down when I need to at any given time, kind of like the scrapbooker I talked about above.

Anyways, there’s my two cents on the subject…

J.Bro said...

Thanks for weighing in Mr. Vertigo - I was hoping you would, but I didn't want to call you out.

Here's a similar way to think about it - spending 20+ hours a week on any hobby, or spending so much time on any hobby that your friends feel neglected, and you've got a problem. You can almost take the fact that it's a video game out of the equation. If M.Bro felt ignored because I was spending 4 hours a night in the garage tinkering with my vintage motorcycle, then that should get the same response, right? (for the record, I never work on my Indian for more than a couple hours on Sunday mornings) (I'm lying, I only wish I had a vintage Indian).