Friends

As far as I know, none of my regular commenters have teenage kids, but I think some of you were teenage kids at one time, so maybe you can give M.Bro and I some advice. How do we approach Mel about her choice in friends? A couple weeks ago, her Women in History teacher told us Mel is a smart young lady, but holds herself back and takes the class much less seriously when she's around a specific group of other students. Two of those students are also in her geometry class, and this is the response I got from her math teacher to an e-mail about Mel's frustration with her test scores.
Morning,
Melanie has been completing her homework regularly but does not have
all her classwork points. This unit on constructions they are able to
work a majority of the class time on constructions. Melanie hasn't been
working well during these group times. They are able to choose the
group of 3 students to work with. Her choice of 3 has not been the best
for Melanie. As a result Melanie has not completed work within the
hour. This was the situation yesterday according to Mr. Hansey, our
Support teacher. He tried to redirect Melanie to focus on Geometry and
she did not comply and was asked to leave the room so she would not
disrupt others. We are having a quiz on Monday on this material. She
can come in before or after school for one on one help before tests.

My concern for the teacher's grammar aside, how should Missy and I approach this? We don't want to make martyrs out of her friends and make her even more committed to them, but Mel clearly realizes that her work in class isn't at the same level as her homework. Is her friends' negative influence one of those things she knows, but can't admit to herself? The parenting book I've been reading says teenagers run into a lot of that kind of thing - they're frustrated with themselves for getting in situations and relationshipos they feel like they can't get out of.

2 comments:

Burrito Eater said...

She should be grounded. That the sutable answer for everything.

towwas said...

Oh, that sucks. Unfortunately, I was a totally dull goody-two-shoes teen with nice friends who worked hard. So, like, no help. Doesn't the book say anything about how to nudge them to deal with stuff they're frustrated with?

Have you read "Breakfast with Tiffany"? It's this dude's memoir about taking in his teenage niece. http://www.amazon.com/Breakfast-Tiffany-An-Uncles-Memoir/dp/1401352243