Melt your stupid face off
A six mile lunch-hour run in Madison today turned quickly from jaunty workout to grisly tragedy as a young man's entire body melted into a puddle of skin and muscle. The 27 year-old west side resident, identified by dental records as little-read blogger 'J.Bro' was training for this Sunday's XTerra off-road triathlon when disaster struck. 'One minute he was running, kind of jerkily and haltingly, and then he just, uh, turned into goo,' reported a witness to the accident. Funeral arrangements are not yet finalized, but the .Bro family has requested that friends and family put liberal bumper stickers on their cars in lieu of flowers."