Get Shovelglovey!


A recent Gallup poll showed that 85.5% of Americans planning to make New Year's resolutions have fitness or weight loss in mind. I present to you, hundreds of millions of readers - the Shovelglove! M.Bro isn't awake yet, but I think she'll be pleased when she finds out I've cancelled our gym membership, bought two sledgehammers, and ruined two of her sweaters - for fitness!
Take a sledgehammer and wrap an old sweater around it. This is your "shovelglove." Every week day morning, set a timer for 14 minutes. Use the shovelglove to perform shoveling, butter churning, and wood chopping motions until the timer goes off. Stop. Rest on weekends and holidays.

You guessed it, 14 is a significant number. Why? Because it's one minute less than the smallest unit of schedulistically significant time. No calendar has a finer granularity than 15 minutes. No one ever has a meeting that starts at 5 or 10 or 14 minutes before or after the hour. You have no excuse not to do this. Time-wise, it doesn't even register.

Swinging a sledgehammer around like a spastic maniac is dangerous. But I haven't found anything to suggest that these movements, when properly performed by sane, healthy people, are especially risky. In fact, I've found some reputable sources specifically extolling the health benefits of shoveling (footnote pending).

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