M.Bro just called me to vent about a customer and her son that just left the store, and the story was so good that I'm going to share it with you. Felicia* and her son, Thad*, seemed like normal customers, but underneath the designer clothing was a teeming mass of poor parenting and poor customer-ing. After they'd been in the store for a few minutes, M.Bro took a small tin from Thad that he had been banging on displays and kicking across the floor and let Felicia know that they dented easily. Felicia reply was that, "It's $2.99 - if he dents it, I'm pretty sure I can cover that." M.Bro correctly pointed out (to me - not to Felicity) - "Yeah - but you wouldn't."
A kid playing with a shiny object is pretty normal behavior at the SS, though, and it wasn't what warranted M.Bro's exasperation. Apparently Thad next picked up and was running around the store with an eyelet tool that's used to pierce holes through paper - very sharp, at both ends. One of the other employees took it away from him immediately after they realized what he had. Felicity was still unperturbed - "Look - if he hurts himself, that's my problem, not yours." Unperturbed enough to let tin-smashing, eyeball-piercing Thad drive her cart - drive it right into a display of die-cuts. Knocking down hundreds of die cuts wasn't enough carnage for future-Republican Thad (you know I'm right) - he ran back as the employees were starting to pick them up, jumped on the pile he'd made, and kicked them like leaves in a Peanuts cartoon.
The kicker to the story is not that Felicia spent $4 (which is true, but not the kicker), but that as they were leaving, she told Thad - "We're going to have to get you a treat for being so good, aren't we?" Felicia needs to get M.Bro a treat for not asking her politely to leave and not come back. There are some customers that just aren't worth keeping.
*Names changed to protect the annoying. Plus I don't know their real names.