The pope has been given the last rites. Who's got him in the pool?
Update: Herr Goebbels has informed me that the pope's death ceremony includes chanting his birth name three times (in her words "Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! BEETLEJUICE!") and hitting him on the head three times with a tiny golden hammer. And then Fox News will show hours upon hours of photos of him when he was young, virile, and attractive.